In case it wasn’t obvious, this is by no means insulting these ships, it is insulting particularly bad, out-of-character, and willfully ignorant popular fanon for each of these otherwise fantastic ships.
All these ships were from the suggestion box I opened up a few days ago.
What if Hans still loves Anna? What if when they trolls said “Get the fiancee out of the way” they meant it? What if they cast a spell on Hans that replaced his feelings for her with greed? What if Hans is stuck inside his own mind, screaming and crying, because the love of his life is slipping through his fingers, by his own hand? What if the open door never closed?